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Heartbreaking Journey: A Mother’s Plea for Change After Loss
A devastated mother has shared her harrowing experience after her newborn was transferred from Northern Ireland to Liverpool for a post-mortem examination, describing the ordeal as “cruel” and “unnatural.” Victoria Buckley felt an indescribable pain following the loss of her son, Ollie, who was stillborn at Antrim Area Hospital on May 25, 2024.
After this unimaginable tragedy, the couple learned that any post-mortem procedure would necessitate transporting Ollie across the Irish Sea. Currently, Northern Ireland lacks specialized pediatric pathologists capable of performing these vital examinations. In response to this gap in services, arrangements were made in 2019 with Alder Hey Children’s Hospital to transfer infants needing autopsies to their skilled pathology service in Liverpool.
Shockingly, six years later, this temporary arrangement still remains in effect.
A Mother’s Grief Amplified by Distance
Victoria is advocating for an end to this system which not only added logistical burdens but also emotionally separated her from her son during crucial grieving moments before his funeral. “Saying goodbye felt like three individual events,” she recounted. “First upon receiving the heartbreaking news of his passing; then again when he was transported away; and finally during the funeral.”
The emotional toll on parents is profound; after giving birth—even if under tragic circumstances—there’s an instinctive desire for protection over one’s child. Victoria lamented about handing over her baby and said it felt utterly horrific.
The couple were allegedly informed that they could accompany their baby during transport; however, Mrs. Buckley asserts she wasn’t made aware of such options at all. She indicated that even if offered an alternative way forward, it would have been incredibly difficult and against family needs so soon after giving birth.
The Difficulty of Navigating Loss Amidst Bureaucracy
Accessing a bereavement suite took four agonizing days as services faced significant backlogs due to multiple families undergoing similar tragedies simultaneously. The Northern Trust extended its apologies regarding their insufficient communication during such exceptionally challenging times.
“There were many families we needed to support,” they explained while promising continued review of services dealing with bereavement needs.
A representative conveyed intentions towards ongoing staff training aimed at providing compassionate care alongside clear information tailored sensitively toward grieving families—the assurance seemed inadequate given Victoria’s experience.
Seeking A Compassionate Path Forward
When Ollie’s body was ready for shipping off-site , Ms Buckley received just a cold metal box without comfort or context surrounding how he’d be treated along journey—incredible distress added silence where concern should exist.
“At one point my imagination ran wild worrying he’d travel like cargo aboard some flight,” she confessed nervously but later found solace knowing he’s taken via boat alongside undertaking professionals instead.
This movement forward also required consent allowing Ollie’s long-term stays there straining further uncertainty about eventual return timeline—burden borne casseroles deepening wreckage:
“Words fail me articulating pain unfurling those empty days we spent apart,” she revealed focusing future actions adding pressure behind crafting petition aimed squarely existing interim agreements .
“Responses flood– people remain left unresolved clutching void feeling unable make peace because facing journey into strangers’ realms—enough is enough.”
Join Ms.Buckley’s petition today!
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